








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 522 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 240 matches | ||
| Premier | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




93 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5878 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,949 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4786 | 25% |
| Smokes | 5032 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4693 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4438 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $777,702 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2525 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jello | 86% | 29 |
| #2 | Frost_276 | 68% | 31 |
| #3 | woNg | 59% | 160 |
| #4 | RealLyfeMafiaBoss | 58% | 138 |
| #5 | CallMeVenus | 56% | 165 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | ElviNas | 52% | 81 |
| #9 | Miniek | 51% | 183 |
| #10 | TomzjE | 50% | 144 |
| #11 | wizzl | 49% | 144 |
| #12 | Plague | 47% | 145 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CallMeVenus | 47 | 0.0137 |
| #2 | RealLyfeMafiaBoss | 43 | 0.0150 |
| #3 | woNg | 25 | 0.0077 |
| #4 | kaelin | 21 | 0.0116 |
| #5 | RealLyfeMafiaBoss | 6 | 0.0086 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wizzl | 548 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #2 | TomzjE | 457 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #3 | Miniek | 403 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #4 | Plague | 387 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #5 | CallMeVenus | 321 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RealLyfeMafiaBoss | +2.69 | 74 | 36 |
| #2 | riaN | +2.57 | 77 | 71 |
| #3 | woNg | +1.91 | 73 | 50 |
| #4 | TomzjE | +0.94 | 82 | 72 |
| #5 | Miniek | +0.82 | 89 | 53 |





