








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1012 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 247 matches | ||
| Premier | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 93 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3861 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,768 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5457 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4566 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4213 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4532 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $932,146 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 604 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aston | 57% | 21 |
| #2 | aTinyPinkBunny | 57% | 91 |
| #3 | Dongledore | 56% | 25 |
| #4 | riaN | 50% | 144 |
| #5 | wizzl | 50% | 168 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Dongledore | 56% | 25 |
| #4 | riaN | 50% | 144 |
| #5 | wizzl | 50% | 168 |
| #6 | Miniek | 49% | 176 |
| #7 | Plague | 48% | 153 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Plague | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Miniek | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | wizzl | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | riaN | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | aTinyPinkBunny | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wizzl | 642 | 0.18 | 16 min |
| #2 | Plague | 408 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #3 | Miniek | 391 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #4 | riaN | 305 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #5 | aTinyPinkBunny | 130 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aston | +1.87 | 88 | 78 |
| #2 | TomzjE | +1.59 | 82 | 71 |
| #3 | Miniek | +0.92 | 89 | 53 |
| #4 | riaN | -0.01 | 74 | 69 |
| #5 | Dongledore | -0.22 | 68 | 61 |





