








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 186 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1740 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,327 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1887 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2259 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2084 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2097 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $481,928 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 66 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | zwizu. | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | TomzjE | 50% | 168 |
| #3 | Miniek | 50% | 174 |
| #4 | riaN | 49% | 144 |
| #5 | Plague | 47% | 147 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | TomzjE | 50% | 168 |
| #3 | Miniek | 50% | 174 |
| #4 | riaN | 49% | 144 |
| #5 | Plague | 47% | 147 |
| #6 | Michiel | 45% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Plague | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | Miniek | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | riaN | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | TomzjE | 2 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TomzjE | 578 | 0.16 | 15 min |
| #2 | Plague | 386 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #3 | Miniek | 381 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #4 | riaN | 323 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #5 | Michiel | 47 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TomzjE | +1.07 | 83 | 71 |
| #2 | Miniek | +0.91 | 89 | 51 |
| #3 | riaN | +0.18 | 75 | 70 |
| #4 | Plague | -0.61 | 74 | 64 |
| #5 | wizzl | -1.07 | 66 | 64 |





