








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 666 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 218 matches | ||
| Premier | 215 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Renown | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4904 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,108 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3912 | 20% |
| Smokes | 4834 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5887 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 4475 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,203,914 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 225 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rikźź | 62% | 122 |
| #2 | Tmirts | 60% | 120 |
| #3 | BurgerFlipper8 | 60% | 77 |
| #4 | Kirikuõpetaja | 59% | 322 |
| #5 | Cuba | 59% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Piiskop | 50% | 426 |
| #11 | MONSTER | 50% | 48 |
| #12 | haki | 50% | 102 |
| #13 | P4nc4ke | 37% | 51 |
| #14 | p2tsuuu | 35% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nunnnn | 22 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Piiskop | 18 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Kirikuõpetaja | 14 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | speed-deemon | 14 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | tuX♥ | 9 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nunnnn | 1117 | 0.19 | 30 min |
| #2 | Piiskop | 1070 | 0.12 | 22 min |
| #3 | speed-deemon | 1063 | 0.22 | 30 min |
| #4 | Kirikuõpetaja | 686 | 0.11 | 20 min |
| #5 | Tmirts | 596 | 0.24 | 16 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kirikuõpetaja | +3.83 | 93 | 68 |
| #2 | rikźź | +2.85 | 85 | 69 |
| #3 | Tmirts | +1.70 | 79 | 74 |
| #4 | Nunnnn | +1.36 | 83 | 56 |
| #5 | speed-deemon | +1.33 | 82 | 66 |





