








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 781 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 262 matches | ||
| Faceit | 135 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 69 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6391 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,965 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5462 | 23% |
| Smokes | 6835 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 6188 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5480 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,198,172 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 45 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | simpel | 59% | 85 |
| #2 | Smツe❤ | 58% | 137 |
| #3 | Tmirts | 56% | 147 |
| #4 | Piiskop | 55% | 101 |
| #5 | TonyLab | 53% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Nunnnn | 51% | 61 |
| #9 | RedEye ツ | 49% | 90 |
| #10 | Kirikuõpetaja | 49% | 41 |
| #11 | T4ig0 | 38% | 50 |
| #12 | speed-deemon | 38% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | speed-deemon | 5 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | Smツe❤ | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Piiskop | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Tmirts | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | Nunnnn | 3 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smツe❤ | 747 | 0.27 | 21 min |
| #2 | Tmirts | 703 | 0.23 | 19 min |
| #3 | venyetta | 331 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | simpel | 316 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #5 | Piiskop | 264 | 0.12 | 5 min |





