










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1506 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 688 matches | ||
| Premier | 243 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 59 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Renown | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 101 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




67 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
15188 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 45,409 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12474 | 27% |
| Smokes | 12116 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 8913 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 11906 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,869,964 of utility $109 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2082 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | szymus | 66% | 71 |
| #2 | rikźź | 64% | 514 |
| #3 | M4rdik/. | 64% | 206 |
| #4 | BurgerFlipper8 | 63% | 147 |
| #5 | Kirikuõpetaja | 62% | 541 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Cuba | 62% | 382 |
| #8 | speed-deemon | 59% | 448 |
| #9 | venyetta | 55% | 299 |
| #10 | Piiskop | 49% | 191 |
| #11 | Anton Chigurh | 46% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | speed-deemon | 30 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Kirikuõpetaja | 19 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Cuba | 13 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Anton Chigurh | 13 | 0.0071 |
| #5 | rikźź | 11 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cuba | 2772 | 0.34 | 90 min |
| #2 | speed-deemon | 1757 | 0.19 | 49 min |
| #3 | rikźź | 1457 | 0.14 | 44 min |
| #4 | Kirikuõpetaja | 1152 | 0.10 | 32 min |
| #5 | M4rdik/. | 571 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kirikuõpetaja | +2.51 | 91 | 69 |
| #2 | rikźź | +1.85 | 82 | 72 |
| #3 | szymus | +1.47 | 93 | 63 |
| #4 | Nunnnn | +1.31 | 82 | 62 |
| #5 | speed-deemon | +0.88 | 83 | 65 |





