










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1091 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 321 matches | ||
| Premier | 165 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Renown | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 99 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7581 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,272 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4846 | 20% |
| Smokes | 4632 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 7317 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 7477 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,463,201 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 855 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BurgerFlipper8 | 68% | 38 |
| #2 | M4rdik/. | 68% | 164 |
| #3 | rikźź | 65% | 371 |
| #4 | tuX♥ | 64% | 50 |
| #5 | Cuba | 63% | 297 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | speed-deemon | 63% | 219 |
| #7 | Nunnnn | 62% | 541 |
| #8 | venyetta | 59% | 322 |
| #9 | Piiskop | 56% | 152 |
| #10 | Thenoperino | 49% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nunnnn | 27 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Piiskop | 15 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | speed-deemon | 11 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | rikźź | 9 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Cuba | 9 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cuba | 2284 | 0.36 | 72 min |
| #2 | Nunnnn | 1901 | 0.17 | 51 min |
| #3 | rikźź | 1026 | 0.13 | 30 min |
| #4 | speed-deemon | 906 | 0.20 | 24 min |
| #5 | venyetta | 553 | 0.09 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kirikuõpetaja | +2.89 | 92 | 68 |
| #2 | rikźź | +1.79 | 82 | 72 |
| #3 | Nunnnn | +0.48 | 81 | 60 |
| #4 | Cuba | +0.47 | 83 | 85 |
| #5 | M4rdik/. | +0.43 | 70 | 58 |





