








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 793 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 316 matches | ||
| Faceit | 308 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Renown | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7070 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,226 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5247 | 21% |
| Smokes | 7042 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 6793 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 6144 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,656,423 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 510 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thonyx | 64% | 70 |
| #2 | LES Estenay | 63% | 87 |
| #3 | Hirney | 59% | 90 |
| #4 | LES JustJerry | 58% | 81 |
| #5 | CaShY | 56% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | NooB | 53% | 230 |
| #12 | STEGE | 52% | 133 |
| #13 | SniPErFreak | 48% | 48 |
| #14 | etobe | 48% | 67 |
| #15 | Clownmity | 46% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S P R A Y K Ö N I G | 13 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | Glantor | 9 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | NooB | 8 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | mtx | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | STEGE | 6 | 0.0021 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mtx | 746 | 0.17 | 19 min |
| #2 | STEGE | 603 | 0.21 | 15 min |
| #3 | Glantor | 524 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #4 | LES Estenay | 492 | 0.26 | 13 min |
| #5 | etobe | 486 | 0.33 | 14 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S P R A Y K Ö N I G | +1.76 | 80 | 61 |
| #2 | mtx | +1.55 | 66 | 70 |
| #3 | STEGE | +0.92 | 74 | 72 |
| #4 | LES JustJerry | +0.79 | 57 | 66 |
| #5 | Hirney | +0.62 | 65 | 65 |





