








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 659 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 234 matches | ||
| Faceit | 210 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Renown | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 96 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




27 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4142 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,759 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4414 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3679 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4615 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 2051 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,180,004 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 238 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thonyx | 57% | 58 |
| #2 | chrissigrue | 56% | 190 |
| #3 | NooB | 55% | 155 |
| #4 | Clownmity | 51% | 121 |
| #5 | mtx | 50% | 139 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | STEGE | 43% | 105 |
| #12 | Hop'n VØRT三X | 42% | 55 |
| #13 | CaShY | 42% | 115 |
| #14 | LES Estenay | 41% | 140 |
| #15 | etobe | 30% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NooB | 10 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Clownmity | 10 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | chrissigrue | 9 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | LES JustJerry | 8 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | mtx | 7 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LES Estenay | 595 | 0.21 | 16 min |
| #2 | mtx | 570 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #3 | STEGE | 465 | 0.21 | 12 min |
| #4 | LES JustJerry | 417 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| #5 | chrissigrue | 416 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mtx | +2.65 | 67 | 69 |
| #2 | Hop'n VØRT三X | +2.50 | 71 | 65 |
| #3 | S P R A Y K Ö N I G | +1.62 | 82 | 57 |
| #4 | CrawL | +1.16 | 72 | 57 |
| #5 | STEGE | +1.12 | 75 | 71 |





