








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 991 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 418 matches | ||
| Faceit | 291 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Renown | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 119 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8237 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,893 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11583 | 37% |
| Smokes | 7977 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 6113 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 5220 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,639,499 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 343 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thonyx | 56% | 78 |
| #2 | SniPErFreak | 54% | 76 |
| #3 | chrissigrue | 52% | 133 |
| #4 | LES JustJerry | 50% | 42 |
| #5 | NooB | 50% | 126 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Hop'n VØRT三X | 45% | 51 |
| #9 | Hirney | 44% | 90 |
| #10 | LES Estenay | 44% | 107 |
| #11 | Glantor | 43% | 105 |
| #12 | S P R A Y K Ö N I G | 42% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chrissigrue | 8 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | NooB | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | CaShY | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | LES Estenay | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Hirney | 2 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mtx | 599 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| #2 | LES Estenay | 534 | 0.24 | 15 min |
| #3 | Hirney | 279 | 0.15 | 6 min |
| #4 | Glantor | 277 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | chrissigrue | 260 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mtx | +1.35 | 60 | 67 |
| #2 | Hop'n VØRT三X | +1.34 | 67 | 62 |
| #3 | S P R A Y K Ö N I G | +1.27 | 79 | 60 |
| #4 | STEGE | +1.06 | 75 | 66 |
| #5 | Hirney | +0.75 | 58 | 65 |





