








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 190 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 149 matches | ||
| Faceit | 147 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 103 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4789 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,959 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5350 | 26% |
| Smokes | 5941 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4042 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 5626 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,700,669 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 856 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | 5W-12LDust2ShoT | 47% | 34 |
| #11 | STEGE | 45% | 51 |
| #12 | NooB | 44% | 96 |
| #13 | Glantor | 42% | 55 |
| #14 | LES Estenay | 39% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yuuki | 13 | 0.0147 |
| #2 | chrissigrue | 9 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Yuki | 9 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | S P R A Y K Ö N I G | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | NooB | 4 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mtx | 431 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #2 | etobe | 287 | 0.35 | 9 min |
| #3 | chrissigrue | 218 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #4 | STEGE | 198 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #5 | LES Estenay | 194 | 0.23 | 5 min |





