








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 596 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 425 matches | ||
| Faceit | 188 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Renown | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 29 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6926 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,624 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3695 | 15% |
| Smokes | 8546 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 6645 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 5738 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,101,922 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 748 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | GETTIN_HIGH | 59% | 106 |
| #2 | Thonyx | 56% | 117 |
| #3 | Glantor | 55% | 155 |
| #4 | Hirney | 53% | 96 |
| #5 | chrissigrue | 53% | 230 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | CaShY | 47% | 171 |
| #12 | Hop'n VØRT三X | 44% | 96 |
| #13 | etobe | 40% | 57 |
| #14 | LES JustJerry | 40% | 72 |
| #15 | Schakeline | 37% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mtx | 18 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | chrissigrue | 11 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | STEGE | 9 | 0.0033 |
| #4 | S P R A Y K Ö N I G | 8 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Glantor | 8 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mtx | 1096 | 0.17 | 29 min |
| #2 | LES Estenay | 660 | 0.26 | 18 min |
| #3 | chrissigrue | 546 | 0.11 | 13 min |
| #4 | STEGE | 544 | 0.20 | 13 min |
| #5 | Glantor | 400 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mtx | +2.32 | 67 | 68 |
| #2 | S P R A Y K Ö N I G | +1.72 | 81 | 61 |
| #3 | STEGE | +1.52 | 77 | 70 |
| #4 | chrissigrue | +0.71 | 58 | 64 |
| #5 | Hirney | +0.48 | 61 | 63 |





