








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 594 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 398 matches | ||
| Faceit | 164 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7755 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,999 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4224 | 22% |
| Smokes | 5381 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5859 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 3535 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,399,511 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 750 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thonyx | 59% | 39 |
| #2 | Hop'n VØRT三X | 56% | 103 |
| #3 | Hirney | 56% | 59 |
| #4 | mtx | 55% | 201 |
| #5 | LES Estenay | 54% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | manipulatoR | 48% | 82 |
| #13 | etobe | 47% | 188 |
| #14 | Glantor | 46% | 119 |
| #15 | :X | 43% | 44 |
| #16 | STEGE | 42% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chrissigrue | 11 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | mtx | 9 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | NooB | 8 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Glantor | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | etobe | 6 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | etobe | 961 | 0.24 | 29 min |
| #2 | mtx | 666 | 0.16 | 16 min |
| #3 | chrissigrue | 517 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #4 | Walliew2k | 498 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #5 | STEGE | 354 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mtx | +1.34 | 64 | 66 |
| #2 | Hop'n VØRT三X | +1.24 | 69 | 63 |
| #3 | S P R A Y K Ö N I G | +0.91 | 80 | 58 |
| #4 | :X | +0.52 | 75 | 65 |
| #5 | Walliew2k | +0.46 | 69 | 77 |





