








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1717 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 502 matches | ||
| Faceit | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 93 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6813 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,858 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5607 | 24% |
| Smokes | 6083 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 6440 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 5728 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,368,084 of utility $222 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 590 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | John 3:16 | 68% | 56 |
| #2 | dal2n | 63% | 68 |
| #3 | cooter intruder | 61% | 79 |
| #4 | Carmi | 52% | 209 |
| #5 | Violent Chad! | 49% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Violent Randy! | 44% | 255 |
| #9 | Pred | 44% | 287 |
| #10 | Bumweiner | 44% | 194 |
| #11 | Samurai | 44% | 194 |
| #12 | btzy | 42% | 291 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pred | 13 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Bumweiner | 13 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Carmi | 9 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Samurai | 8 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Violent Randy! | 7 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | btzy | 719 | 0.12 | 17 min |
| #2 | nate | 667 | 0.32 | 14 min |
| #3 | dal2n | 486 | 0.34 | 15 min |
| #4 | Bumweiner | 405 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| #5 | Carmi | 353 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dal2n | +2.61 | 86 | 81 |
| #2 | Jim Lahey | +1.79 | 78 | 74 |
| #3 | cooter intruder | +1.58 | 71 | 74 |
| #4 | Carmi | +1.07 | 68 | 59 |
| #5 | Samurai | +0.46 | 83 | 50 |





