








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1677 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 459 matches | ||
| Faceit | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 164 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6701 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,703 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4095 | 19% |
| Smokes | 6087 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 6291 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 5230 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,469,249 of utility $253 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1270 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nate | 61% | 98 |
| #2 | Samurai | 55% | 215 |
| #3 | sweet | 54% | 217 |
| #4 | •pürp1εhazε• | 52% | 92 |
| #5 | Jim Lahey | 52% | 209 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | bluu | 50% | 177 |
| #7 | Violent Randy! | 49% | 135 |
| #8 | btzy | 49% | 172 |
| #9 | Bumweiner | 48% | 140 |
| #10 | Pred | 46% | 207 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sweet | 14 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Jim Lahey | 13 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Samurai | 10 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Bumweiner | 9 | 0.0047 |
| #5 | •pürp1εhazε• | 7 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sweet | 341 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| #2 | nate | 306 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #3 | •pürp1εhazε• | 251 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #4 | Jim Lahey | 228 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #5 | Samurai | 217 | 0.07 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bluu | +2.39 | 86 | 56 |
| #2 | Jim Lahey | +1.97 | 76 | 78 |
| #3 | Samurai | +1.32 | 84 | 53 |
| #4 | Carmi | +0.99 | 66 | 57 |
| #5 | btzy | -0.25 | 63 | 63 |





