








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1677 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 459 matches | ||
| Faceit | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 164 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8030 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,703 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4095 | 19% |
| Smokes | 6087 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 6291 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 5230 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,821,379 of utility $228 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1270 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nate | 61% | 98 |
| #2 | Samurai | 55% | 215 |
| #3 | sweet | 54% | 217 |
| #4 | •pürp1εhazε• | 52% | 92 |
| #5 | Jim Lahey | 52% | 209 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | bluu | 50% | 177 |
| #7 | Violent Randy! | 49% | 135 |
| #8 | btzy | 49% | 172 |
| #9 | Bumweiner | 48% | 140 |
| #10 | Pred | 46% | 207 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sweet | 14 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Jim Lahey | 14 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Samurai | 13 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Bumweiner | 10 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Pred | 8 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nate | 653 | 0.32 | 16 min |
| #2 | sweet | 547 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #3 | Jim Lahey | 510 | 0.12 | 17 min |
| #4 | btzy | 410 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #5 | •pürp1εhazε• | 346 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bluu | +2.59 | 86 | 58 |
| #2 | Jim Lahey | +2.29 | 76 | 79 |
| #3 | Samurai | +1.36 | 84 | 52 |
| #4 | Carmi | +1.02 | 66 | 58 |
| #5 | btzy | -0.18 | 63 | 63 |





