








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 355 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7563 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,362 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5208 | 24% |
| Smokes | 5562 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4642 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 5950 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,710,853 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 68 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Da Gaming Jokerrr... | 60% | 95 |
| #2 | Baja | 57% | 54 |
| #3 | nink | 56% | 39 |
| #4 | jord | 55% | 132 |
| #5 | Jimmy D Fried | 54% | 147 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | jord | 55% | 132 |
| #5 | Jimmy D Fried | 54% | 147 |
| #6 | Jbubz | 52% | 426 |
| #7 | lenticular | 51% | 505 |
| #8 | Petito | 51% | 192 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jbubz | 27 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | lenticular | 26 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Baja | 10 | 0.0095 |
| #4 | Da Gaming Jokerrr... | 9 | 0.0048 |
| #5 | jord | 6 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jbubz | 1506 | 0.17 | 33 min |
| #2 | Jimmy D Fried | 513 | 0.17 | 15 min |
| #3 | lenticular | 511 | 0.05 | 9 min |
| #4 | jord | 403 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #5 | Petito | 333 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mo2 | +2.92 | 90 | 59 |
| #2 | Da Gaming Jokerrr... | +2.42 | 76 | 63 |
| #3 | Jbubz | +0.65 | 81 | 60 |
| #4 | Baja | -0.12 | 75 | 48 |
| #5 | lenticular | -0.53 | 64 | 39 |





