








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 502 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 293 matches | ||
| Faceit | 240 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6323 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,889 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5259 | 26% |
| Smokes | 5607 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3919 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 5104 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,701,292 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 480 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | z | 64% | 45 |
| #2 | GhostRob | 61% | 56 |
| #3 | Exzotikk(LFT) | 58% | 33 |
| #4 | yeji | 57% | 70 |
| #5 | oomi | 55% | 142 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Donkey (drop me the awp) | 22 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | obiiking | 12 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | MasterAce <3 | 9 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | Exzotikk(LFT) | 8 | 0.0121 |
| #5 | yeji | 7 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Donkey (drop me the awp) | 906 | 0.25 | 22 min |
| #2 | oomi | 481 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #3 | obiiking | 341 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #4 | mandu | 281 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #5 | n1 N1h0N | 171 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oomi | +2.20 | 84 | 62 |
| #2 | yeji | +1.85 | 86 | 61 |
| #3 | z | +1.29 | 86 | 63 |
| #4 | Swoffmiester | +1.16 | 71 | 59 |
| #5 | MasterAce <3 | +0.97 | 76 | 53 |





