








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 299 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 270 matches | ||
| Faceit | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




54 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8721 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,908 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8293 | 29% |
| Smokes | 10224 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 3411 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 6980 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $888,653 of utility $64 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 56 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yeji | 64% | 44 |
| #2 | Cru$h | 62% | 39 |
| #3 | xM sHaDoW|FSU | 56% | 50 |
| #4 | Vanilla Coke | 54% | 175 |
| #5 | Jacob Benjamin Wickington Smith | 54% | 245 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Named_fr4n | 51% | 61 |
| #13 | Shmole | 50% | 80 |
| #14 | Swoffmiester | 49% | 67 |
| #15 | z | 47% | 36 |
| #16 | Harry Ballsonya | 46% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | obiiking | 8 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | GhostRob | 8 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | Jacob Benjamin Wickington Smith | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Vanilla Coke | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | Harry Ballsonya | 5 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jacob Benjamin Wickington Smith | 754 | 0.15 | 19 min |
| #2 | Vanilla Coke | 753 | 0.21 | 16 min |
| #3 | dabbertons | 505 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #4 | secret gay fuck spot | 421 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #5 | Harry Ballsonya | 378 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mandu | +3.17 | 87 | 70 |
| #2 | yeji | +2.15 | 84 | 64 |
| #3 | Swoffmiester | +1.48 | 75 | 59 |
| #4 | xM sHaDoW|FSU | +1.36 | 69 | 67 |
| #5 | Vanilla Coke | +0.38 | 66 | 62 |





