








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 253 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 120 matches | ||
| Premier | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3511 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,202 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2187 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2886 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2434 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2695 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $658,811 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 21 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Exzotikk(LFT) | 71% | 21 |
| #2 | oomi | 69% | 26 |
| #3 | GhostRob | 66% | 99 |
| #4 | Cru$h | 64% | 58 |
| #5 | mandu | 64% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Donkey (drop me the awp) | 34 | 0.0110 |
| #2 | GhostRob | 15 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | flairr | 10 | 0.0082 |
| #4 | Exzotikk(LFT) | 9 | 0.0201 |
| #5 | z | 8 | 0.0076 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Donkey (drop me the awp) | 758 | 0.24 | 18 min |
| #2 | GhostRob | 315 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| #3 | flairr | 248 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #4 | Cru$h | 234 | 0.19 | 6 min |
| #5 | Swoffmiester | 215 | 0.14 | 5 min |





