








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1118 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 252 matches | ||
| Premier | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5584 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,682 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3959 | 31% |
| Smokes | 3346 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2160 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 3217 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,391,308 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 498 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yeji | 69% | 26 |
| #2 | GhostRob | 65% | 23 |
| #3 | Donkey (drop me the awp) | 61% | 83 |
| #4 | kowalskey | 59% | 29 |
| #5 | bango | 58% | 112 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | traditions | 55% | 44 |
| #12 | minecraftmarco2008 | 54% | 28 |
| #13 | nrb | 48% | 25 |
| #14 | xtnkt | 48% | 21 |
| #15 | HoHo | 41% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Donkey (drop me the awp) | 11 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | Swoffmiester | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | bango | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | FromBehind?! | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | fArt | 3 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | n1 N1h0N | 512 | 0.23 | 15 min |
| #2 | fArt | 468 | 0.36 | 13 min |
| #3 | Donkey (drop me the awp) | 450 | 0.25 | 11 min |
| #4 | Swoffmiester | 444 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #5 | bango | 409 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | oomi | +2.88 | 86 | 59 |
| #2 | nrb | +2.83 | 93 | 70 |
| #3 | yeji | +1.83 | 82 | 64 |
| #4 | Donkey (drop me the awp) | +0.54 | 69 | 77 |
| #5 | Swoffmiester | +0.41 | 70 | 57 |





