








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 615 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 536 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 76 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5765 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,923 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4589 | 21% |
| Smokes | 5867 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5696 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 5771 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,791,893 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 553 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marius | 51% | 143 |
| #2 | Tob | 51% | 104 |
| #3 | 🅱️evin | 49% | 68 |
| #4 | William | 46% | 169 |
| #5 | ǝʞᴉǝH | 46% | 169 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ǝʞᴉǝH | 46% | 169 |
| #6 | Rafael_Peder | 44% | 311 |
| #7 | MotoMoto | 43% | 96 |
| #8 | shrymp | 43% | 54 |
| #9 | zelly | 37% | 57 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ǝʞᴉǝH | 22 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | Rafael_Peder | 17 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | William | 10 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | MotoMoto | 8 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | marius | 6 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ǝʞᴉǝH | 704 | 0.20 | 15 min |
| #2 | marius | 381 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #3 | Rafael_Peder | 299 | 0.05 | 7 min |
| #4 | William | 247 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | MotoMoto | 232 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marius | +2.22 | 82 | 54 |
| #2 | ǝʞᴉǝH | +1.30 | 81 | 57 |
| #3 | zelly | +0.82 | 61 | 66 |
| #4 | 🅱️evin | +0.31 | 64 | 54 |
| #5 | iCantStop | -0.16 | 57 | 60 |





