








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 402 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 484 matches | ||
| Wingman | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4850 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,950 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4972 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4557 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4561 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2860 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,160,156 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 351 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marius | 53% | 167 |
| #2 | iCantStop | 51% | 104 |
| #3 | DudeStrude | 49% | 39 |
| #4 | 🅱️evin | 47% | 36 |
| #5 | McFlurpin | 47% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ǝʞᴉǝH | 12 | 0.0065 |
| #2 | DudeStrude | 11 | 0.0130 |
| #3 | William | 9 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | marius | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | iCantStop | 7 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marius | 545 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #2 | ǝʞᴉǝH | 379 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #3 | William | 277 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #4 | iCantStop | 224 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #5 | McFlurpin | 144 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | marius | +2.43 | 84 | 55 |
| #2 | ǝʞᴉǝH | +1.82 | 75 | 58 |
| #3 | William | +1.12 | 75 | 42 |
| #4 | DudeStrude | +0.73 | 52 | 60 |
| #5 | iCantStop | +0.37 | 50 | 58 |





