










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 100 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 371 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3817 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,141 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3780 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1940 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 2486 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3935 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $661,032 of utility $72 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 122 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pcoon | 55% | 33 |
| #2 | baker | 54% | 67 |
| #3 | Blainezy | 52% | 31 |
| #4 | OhJay | 49% | 67 |
| #5 | Sora 空 | 47% | 214 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Sora 空 | 47% | 214 |
| #6 | Blaze | 45% | 143 |
| #7 | dis is y im hot u aint cuz u not | 43% | 207 |
| #8 | Medik | 39% | 44 |
| #9 | ike^.- | 32% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dis is y im hot u aint cuz u not | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | OhJay | 7 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | Sora 空 | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Blaze | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | baker | 4 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dis is y im hot u aint cuz u not | 751 | 0.17 | 17 min |
| #2 | Sora 空 | 540 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #3 | OhJay | 186 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #4 | ike^.- | 166 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #5 | Blaze | 144 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blaze | +2.49 | 75 | 61 |
| #2 | OhJay | +2.42 | 67 | 64 |
| #3 | pcoon | +1.94 | 74 | 60 |
| #4 | ike^.- | +0.59 | 85 | 65 |
| #5 | John Globson | +0.17 | 66 | 54 |





