








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 608 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 452 matches | ||
| Faceit | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7184 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,228 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3436 | 18% |
| Smokes | 5631 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 5645 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 4516 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,386,010 of utility $121 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 79 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KDogg | 64% | 28 |
| #2 | ZayZay | 62% | 65 |
| #3 | ovec | 58% | 76 |
| #4 | monty | 57% | 74 |
| #5 | allen | 52% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | baker | 45% | 196 |
| #14 | John Globson | 45% | 143 |
| #15 | dis is y im hot u aint cuz u not | 44% | 295 |
| #16 | Beanieheany | 43% | 37 |
| #17 | WDT | 40% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dis is y im hot u aint cuz u not | 8 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | baker | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | OhJay | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Sora η©Ί | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | John Globson | 3 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dis is y im hot u aint cuz u not | 1043 | 0.17 | 26 min |
| #2 | John Globson | 510 | 0.16 | 12 min |
| #3 | OhJay | 416 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #4 | Sora η©Ί | 410 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #5 | baker | 344 | 0.08 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WDT | +3.42 | 84 | 58 |
| #2 | Blaze | +2.46 | 73 | 59 |
| #3 | monty | +2.09 | 83 | 69 |
| #4 | OhJay | +1.34 | 67 | 67 |
| #5 | ike^.- | +1.10 | 86 | 62 |





