








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 593 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 647 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 64 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




22 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6274 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,154 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8419 | 29% |
| Smokes | 8450 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 6139 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 6146 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,118,823 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1480 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pcoon | 56% | 63 |
| #2 | allen | 53% | 40 |
| #3 | πΆπͺπ½π½π α΄4α΄ | 52% | 133 |
| #4 | OhJay | 50% | 193 |
| #5 | ovec | 50% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Blaze | 44% | 295 |
| #11 | John Globson | 43% | 207 |
| #12 | WDT | 43% | 61 |
| #13 | Blainezy | 42% | 65 |
| #14 | Medik | 38% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sora η©Ί | 12 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | OhJay | 10 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | baker | 8 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | John Globson | 7 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | Blaze | 5 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | John Globson | 667 | 0.15 | 17 min |
| #2 | Sora η©Ί | 571 | 0.11 | 15 min |
| #3 | OhJay | 513 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #4 | Lumber | 426 | 0.23 | 12 min |
| #5 | Blaze | 321 | 0.05 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WDT | +4.42 | 87 | 57 |
| #2 | Blaze | +2.80 | 75 | 60 |
| #3 | pcoon | +1.68 | 71 | 68 |
| #4 | OhJay | +1.31 | 64 | 62 |
| #5 | ZayZay | +1.30 | 54 | 67 |





