








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1111 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 581 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 33 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




60 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7748 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,592 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5036 | 23% |
| Smokes | 6063 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4956 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 5537 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,177,492 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3927 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | baker | 54% | 68 |
| #2 | WDT | 52% | 81 |
| #3 | πΆπͺπ½π½π α΄4α΄ | 51% | 107 |
| #4 | Blaze | 51% | 154 |
| #5 | dis is y im hot u aint cuz u not | 50% | 193 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | dis is y im hot u aint cuz u not | 50% | 193 |
| #6 | John Globson | 49% | 67 |
| #7 | Lumber | 47% | 78 |
| #8 | Sora η©Ί | 47% | 254 |
| #9 | ike^.- | 45% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sora η©Ί | 14 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | baker | 6 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | WDT | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Blaze | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Lumber | 3 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dis is y im hot u aint cuz u not | 655 | 0.16 | 16 min |
| #2 | Sora η©Ί | 492 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #3 | Lumber | 363 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #4 | John Globson | 246 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #5 | πΆπͺπ½π½π α΄4α΄ | 202 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WDT | +4.18 | 86 | 59 |
| #2 | Blaze | +2.55 | 74 | 57 |
| #3 | OhJay | +1.02 | 67 | 62 |
| #4 | ike^.- | +0.71 | 82 | 62 |
| #5 | Lumber | +0.13 | 67 | 75 |





