








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 291 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1858 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,739 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 751 | 13% |
| Smokes | 1380 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1726 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1882 | 33% |
Our logs show you have wasted $763,277 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 107 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Collynzen | 71% | 34 |
| #2 | Decadenza | 70% | 46 |
| #3 | flux | 69% | 48 |
| #4 | -Mat_ | 68% | 59 |
| #5 | twink | 65% | 144 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | -Mat_ | 68% | 59 |
| #5 | twink | 65% | 144 |
| #6 | cute guy :) | 65% | 17 |
| #7 | Fuwa #SlavaUkraini | 65% | 31 |
| #8 | ai | 64% | 208 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | twink | 42 | 0.0135 |
| #2 | ai | 21 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | cute guy :) | 10 | 0.0267 |
| #4 | -Mat_ | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | flux | 3 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ai | 654 | 0.15 | 17 min |
| #2 | twink | 390 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #3 | -Mat_ | 307 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| #4 | Collynzen | 108 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | Decadenza | 101 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cute guy :) | +4.47 | 64 | 55 |
| #2 | ai | +2.21 | 80 | 69 |
| #3 | -Mat_ | +2.15 | 76 | 73 |
| #4 | flux | +1.61 | 79 | 62 |
| #5 | twink | +1.26 | 81 | 65 |





