








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 14 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 46 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
666 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,349 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 400 | 17% |
| Smokes | 618 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 603 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 728 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $118,036 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fuwa #SlavaUkraini | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | -Mat_ | 72% | 25 |
| #3 | sushi | 69% | 48 |
| #4 | twink | 68% | 62 |
| #5 | ai | 67% | 69 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | sushi | 69% | 48 |
| #4 | twink | 68% | 62 |
| #5 | ai | 67% | 69 |
| #6 | save | 60% | 5 |
| #7 | Collynzen | 52% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | twink | 15 | 0.0117 |
| #2 | ai | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | sushi | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | -Mat_ | 3 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ai | 152 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #2 | twink | 127 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | -Mat_ | 113 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #4 | Collynzen | 79 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #5 | sushi | 29 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Mat_ | +2.63 | 84 | 83 |
| #2 | twink | +2.13 | 83 | 68 |
| #3 | ai | +2.12 | 82 | 69 |
| #4 | flux | +1.13 | 78 | 55 |
| #5 | sushi | -1.29 | 77 | 41 |





