








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 437 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 183 matches | ||
| Premier | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 31 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5446 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,926 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5697 | 30% |
| Smokes | 4614 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4405 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4210 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $882,266 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 121 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sushi | 71% | 34 |
| #2 | Fuwa #SlavaUkraini | 63% | 38 |
| #3 | twink | 63% | 40 |
| #4 | renegerd | 62% | 50 |
| #5 | nLk | 62% | 168 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | Hoax🍋 | 56% | 251 |
| #14 | noxsu | 56% | 36 |
| #15 | Flysick | 55% | 117 |
| #16 | Niya | 54% | 48 |
| #17 | Giggity Giggity | 54% | 123 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ai | 16 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | nLk | 7 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Hoax🍋 | 6 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | Giggity Giggity | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #5 | bNy | 5 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nLk | 544 | 0.15 | 15 min |
| #2 | ai | 507 | 0.14 | 14 min |
| #3 | Hoax🍋 | 345 | 0.06 | 10 min |
| #4 | Decadenza | 337 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #5 | bNy | 246 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nLk | +3.27 | 86 | 79 |
| #2 | Decadenza | +3.18 | 89 | 71 |
| #3 | twink | +2.78 | 82 | 60 |
| #4 | ai | +1.86 | 81 | 69 |
| #5 | renegerd | +1.42 | 73 | 67 |





