








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 252 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




51 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2153 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,292 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1849 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1550 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1093 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1800 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $638,251 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 402 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Decadenza | 73% | 55 |
| #2 | -Mat_ | 68% | 82 |
| #3 | flux | 68% | 62 |
| #4 | sushi | 65% | 144 |
| #5 | ai | 64% | 188 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | sushi | 65% | 144 |
| #5 | ai | 64% | 188 |
| #6 | Collynzen | 63% | 40 |
| #7 | cute guy :) | 60% | 15 |
| #8 | Fuwa #SlavaUkraini | 58% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ai | 22 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | cute guy :) | 8 | 0.0219 |
| #3 | sushi | 7 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | -Mat_ | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | flux | 5 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ai | 546 | 0.14 | 14 min |
| #2 | -Mat_ | 435 | 0.24 | 12 min |
| #3 | sushi | 136 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #4 | Collynzen | 127 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | Decadenza | 122 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cute guy :) | +4.24 | 71 | 44 |
| #2 | -Mat_ | +2.40 | 76 | 75 |
| #3 | ai | +1.57 | 79 | 69 |
| #4 | flux | +1.57 | 77 | 60 |
| #5 | twink | +1.44 | 80 | 64 |





