








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 223 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 99 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 36 matches | ||
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3799 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,269 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2201 | 20% |
| Smokes | 3096 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 3042 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2930 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $793,642 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 46 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | nLk | 56% | 34 |
| #14 | happy | 56% | 54 |
| #15 | vorpal | 56% | 72 |
| #16 | Hoax🍋 | 51% | 35 |
| #17 | Bacon ^v^ | 48% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Collynzen | 16 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | ai | 13 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | happy | 5 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | chicken pizza | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Fuwa #SlavaUkraini | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ai | 623 | 0.12 | 17 min |
| #2 | Collynzen | 516 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #3 | vorpal | 244 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | chicken pizza | 240 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #5 | Fuwa #SlavaUkraini | 220 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Decadenza | +2.56 | 88 | 68 |
| #2 | nLk | +2.42 | 88 | 76 |
| #3 | ai | +2.16 | 81 | 67 |
| #4 | -Mat_ | +1.34 | 77 | 71 |
| #5 | twink | +1.02 | 83 | 65 |





