








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
243 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 668 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 161 | 24% |
| Smokes | 111 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 133 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 263 | 39% |
Our logs show you have wasted $50,289 of utility $63 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chairman Mao | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | GeT_sLiZeD | 63% | 8 |
| #3 | brother jamal | 50% | 8 |
| #4 | markus.lonnegaard.2010 | 50% | 10 |
| #5 | Swagy5K | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MICK KORLETTI | 2 | 0.0328 |
| #2 | snorrehh | 1 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | ˜”*°•.Heier.•°*”˜ | 1 | 0.0039 |
| #4 | markus.lonnegaard.2010 | 1 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ˜”*°•.Heier.•°*”˜ | 36 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #2 | Swagy5K | 32 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #3 | snorrehh | 25 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #4 | brother jamal | 17 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #5 | markus.lonnegaard.2010 | 14 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chairman Mao | +8.33 | 89 | 52 |
| #2 | brother jamal | +6.82 | 83 | 49 |
| #3 | snorrehh | +4.61 | 89 | 63 |
| #4 | MICK KORLETTI | +4.26 | 69 | 29 |
| #5 | ˜”*°•.Heier.•°*”˜ | +3.13 | 92 | 54 |





