








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 197 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 141 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3265 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,037 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1759 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1389 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 1849 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2040 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $952,618 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 317 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | markus.lonnegaard.2010 | 61% | 44 |
| #2 | GeT_sLiZeD | 55% | 20 |
| #3 | brother jamal | 50% | 32 |
| #4 | aaseN | 50% | 70 |
| #5 | snorrehh | 50% | 173 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | brother jamal | 50% | 32 |
| #4 | aaseN | 50% | 70 |
| #5 | snorrehh | 50% | 173 |
| #6 | Swagy5K | 49% | 100 |
| #7 | Spikeupine | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snorrehh | 8 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | aaseN | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | markus.lonnegaard.2010 | 2 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Swagy5K | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | brother jamal | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snorrehh | 480 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #2 | aaseN | 285 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #3 | Swagy5K | 220 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | markus.lonnegaard.2010 | 106 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | brother jamal | 84 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | brother jamal | +3.77 | 83 | 56 |
| #2 | snorrehh | +2.12 | 76 | 60 |
| #3 | ˜”*°•.Heier.•°*”˜ | +0.93 | 85 | 54 |
| #4 | markus.lonnegaard.2010 | +0.26 | 81 | 54 |
| #5 | Spikeupine | +0.00 | 59 | 58 |





