








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 46 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
717 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,973 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 628 | 32% |
| Smokes | 537 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 366 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 442 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $149,464 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 20 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝙀𝙉𝘾𝙍𝙔 | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | Chairman Mao | 67% | 6 |
| #3 | GeT_sLiZeD | 60% | 25 |
| #4 | markus.lonnegaard.2010 | 56% | 9 |
| #5 | aaseN | 56% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | aaseN | 56% | 18 |
| #6 | Kym3th | 50% | 8 |
| #7 | ˜”*°•.Heier.•°*”˜ | 50% | 32 |
| #8 | Swagy5K | 42% | 19 |
| #9 | Spikeupine | 25% | 4 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aaseN | 1 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Chairman Mao | 1 | 0.0085 |
| #3 | Spikeupine | 1 | 0.0094 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ˜”*°•.Heier.•°*”˜ | 93 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #2 | aaseN | 63 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #3 | Swagy5K | 41 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | GeT_sLiZeD | 26 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | markus.lonnegaard.2010 | 20 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chairman Mao | +4.62 | 87 | 55 |
| #2 | brother jamal | +3.17 | 80 | 57 |
| #3 | ˜”*°•.Heier.•°*”˜ | +1.18 | 83 | 55 |
| #4 | GeT_sLiZeD | -1.18 | 59 | 28 |
| #5 | markus.lonnegaard.2010 | -1.30 | 75 | 49 |





