








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 367 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 177 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Esplay | 5 matches | 1,867 | |
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3825 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,352 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3802 | 33% |
| Smokes | 2994 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1966 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 2590 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,146,466 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 132 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aaseN | 63% | 48 |
| #2 | markus.lonnegaard.2010 | 58% | 112 |
| #3 | Swagy5K | 50% | 153 |
| #4 | Λβ*Β°β’.Heier.β’Β°*βΛ | 50% | 173 |
| #5 | πππΎππ | 32% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | aaseN | 63% | 48 |
| #2 | markus.lonnegaard.2010 | 58% | 112 |
| #3 | Swagy5K | 50% | 153 |
| #4 | Λβ*Β°β’.Heier.β’Β°*βΛ | 50% | 173 |
| #5 | πππΎππ | 32% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Λβ*Β°β’.Heier.β’Β°*βΛ | 13 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | markus.lonnegaard.2010 | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | aaseN | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Swagy5K | 1 | 0.0003 |
| #5 | πππΎππ | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Λβ*Β°β’.Heier.β’Β°*βΛ | 357 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #2 | Swagy5K | 307 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #3 | markus.lonnegaard.2010 | 281 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #4 | aaseN | 198 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #5 | πππΎππ | 22 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | snorrehh | +1.89 | 75 | 60 |
| #2 | markus.lonnegaard.2010 | +1.18 | 80 | 58 |
| #3 | Λβ*Β°β’.Heier.β’Β°*βΛ | +0.37 | 84 | 54 |
| #4 | πππΎππ | -0.56 | 58 | 41 |
| #5 | aaseN | -1.12 | 64 | 59 |





