








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 78 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 62 matches | ||
| Faceit | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1201 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,487 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1670 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1574 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 988 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1255 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $370,876 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 72 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DON'T DIE (That'dBeEmbarrassing) | 70% | 10 |
| #2 | LUM | 60% | 58 |
| #3 | Liam [95th] | 59% | 32 |
| #4 | Sand Paper Fleshlight | 55% | 40 |
| #5 | Roadman Formless | 54% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | jorge (new audio settings) | 53% | 15 |
| #7 | Blizzard | 53% | 135 |
| #8 | AzzaR179 | 45% | 11 |
| #9 | GreyWolfBlack | 43% | 14 |
| #10 | .wyne666 | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blizzard | 18 | 0.0064 |
| #2 | Liam [95th] | 11 | 0.0174 |
| #3 | LUM | 6 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | Sand Paper Fleshlight | 5 | 0.0059 |
| #5 | Roadman Formless | 3 | 0.0055 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blizzard | 301 | 0.11 | 10 min |
| #2 | LUM | 301 | 0.25 | 8 min |
| #3 | Liam [95th] | 98 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | Roadman Formless | 70 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | Sand Paper Fleshlight | 58 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blizzard | +3.62 | 81 | 68 |
| #2 | jorge (new audio settings) | +1.55 | 72 | 56 |
| #3 | LUM | +1.13 | 72 | 71 |
| #4 | Roadman Formless | -0.03 | 84 | 60 |
| #5 | .wyne666 | -0.28 | 57 | 68 |





