








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 703 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 138 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 22 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 207 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




104 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2950 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,331 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4276 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2123 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 4012 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2920 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,143,196 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2697 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Roadman Formless | 67% | 30 |
| #2 | AzzaR179 | 63% | 121 |
| #3 | Blizzard | 62% | 141 |
| #4 | LUM | 60% | 92 |
| #5 | Joe | 59% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blizzard | 43 | 0.0155 |
| #2 | LUM | 18 | 0.0101 |
| #3 | GreyWolfBlack | 17 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | AzzaR179 | 15 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | Roadman Formless | 10 | 0.0184 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LUM | 563 | 0.32 | 14 min |
| #2 | Blizzard | 315 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #3 | GreyWolfBlack | 185 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | AzzaR179 | 182 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #5 | Joe | 152 | 0.24 | 3 min |





