








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 62 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1007 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,316 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 742 | 32% |
| Smokes | 674 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 516 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 384 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $514,758 of utility $276 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 433 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AzzaR179 | 75% | 12 |
| #2 | Liam [95th] | 67% | 30 |
| #3 | LUM | 61% | 59 |
| #4 | Sand Paper Fleshlight | 60% | 10 |
| #5 | Blizzard | 55% | 66 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Blizzard | 14 | 0.0110 |
| #2 | LUM | 10 | 0.0090 |
| #3 | Liam [95th] | 9 | 0.0159 |
| #4 | AzzaR179 | 7 | 0.0302 |
| #5 | GreyWolfBlack | 4 | 0.0072 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LUM | 291 | 0.26 | 8 min |
| #2 | Blizzard | 159 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | Joe | 95 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | Liam [95th] | 91 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #5 | AzzaR179 | 23 | 0.10 | 1 min |





