








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 478 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 139 matches | ||
| Faceit | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Renown | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




95 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3723 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,287 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2538 | 19% |
| Smokes | 3812 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3267 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3670 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $683,351 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 374 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Brooks | 68% | 31 |
| #2 | Bulletwatch | 61% | 31 |
| #3 | mhm | 61% | 18 |
| #4 | __Nz__ | 59% | 162 |
| #5 | Jorgos | 58% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Jorgos | 58% | 62 |
| #6 | EisdieleFifty | 57% | 69 |
| #7 | Flashpoint | 55% | 209 |
| #8 | LeadOsprey58 | 53% | 19 |
| #9 | ✪ vulcaN #ClashGG | 51% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flashpoint | 35 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | __Nz__ | 33 | 0.0099 |
| #3 | ✪ vulcaN #ClashGG | 21 | 0.0137 |
| #4 | EisdieleFifty | 11 | 0.0079 |
| #5 | Brooks | 7 | 0.0113 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flashpoint | 487 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #2 | ✪ vulcaN #ClashGG | 215 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | __Nz__ | 181 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #4 | EisdieleFifty | 144 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | Brooks | 75 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cyph3r | +2.64 | 65 | 65 |
| #2 | __Nz__ | +0.96 | 61 | 28 |
| #3 | EisdieleFifty | +0.88 | 69 | 56 |
| #4 | Flashpoint | +0.55 | 75 | 56 |
| #5 | Bulletwatch | -0.24 | 61 | 60 |





