








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1049 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 291 matches | ||
| Premier | 175 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8449 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,035 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3257 | 22% |
| Smokes | 4036 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2625 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 5117 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,255,462 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 438 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | weine | 81% | 43 |
| #2 | xtnkt | 67% | 116 |
| #3 | gohan | 66% | 88 |
| #4 | fArt | 65% | 194 |
| #5 | Wet Doorknob | 63% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xtnkt | 18 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | bango | 12 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | fArt | 12 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | intact <>< | 11 | 0.0086 |
| #5 | traditions | 9 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fArt | 1533 | 0.39 | 43 min |
| #2 | bango | 878 | 0.20 | 22 min |
| #3 | xtnkt | 594 | 0.25 | 14 min |
| #4 | n1 N1h0N | 547 | 0.19 | 16 min |
| #5 | traditions | 462 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | weine | +4.68 | 84 | 73 |
| #2 | skruubz | +4.02 | 81 | 73 |
| #3 | oomi | +2.87 | 87 | 58 |
| #4 | FromBehind?! | +2.34 | 79 | 47 |
| #5 | andrew | +1.60 | 73 | 60 |





