








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 210 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2235 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,917 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1717 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1631 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1768 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 801 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $668,714 of utility $115 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 34 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jord | 60% | 15 |
| #2 | Jbubz | 54% | 166 |
| #3 | Mo2 | 51% | 192 |
| #4 | lenticular | 49% | 160 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jord | 60% | 15 |
| #2 | Jbubz | 54% | 166 |
| #3 | Mo2 | 51% | 192 |
| #4 | lenticular | 49% | 160 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jbubz | 12 | 0.0035 |
| #2 | Mo2 | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | lenticular | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | jord | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jbubz | 620 | 0.18 | 13 min |
| #2 | Mo2 | 344 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #3 | lenticular | 203 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #4 | jord | 57 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mo2 | +3.04 | 91 | 64 |
| #2 | Jbubz | +0.63 | 83 | 61 |
| #3 | lenticular | -0.38 | 66 | 43 |
| #4 | Petito | -0.75 | 72 | 51 |
| #5 | jord | -0.90 | 58 | 66 |





