








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 366 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5944 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,103 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5674 | 28% |
| Smokes | 6104 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2671 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 5654 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,706,801 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Petito | 54% | 166 |
| #2 | Mo2 | 52% | 426 |
| #3 | Jimmy D Fried | 52% | 106 |
| #4 | jord | 51% | 115 |
| #5 | lenticular | 50% | 464 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Petito | 54% | 166 |
| #2 | Mo2 | 52% | 426 |
| #3 | Jimmy D Fried | 52% | 106 |
| #4 | jord | 51% | 115 |
| #5 | lenticular | 50% | 464 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lenticular | 35 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Mo2 | 28 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | jord | 7 | 0.0030 |
| #4 | Petito | 6 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Jimmy D Fried | 5 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mo2 | 732 | 0.08 | 18 min |
| #2 | lenticular | 492 | 0.05 | 9 min |
| #3 | jord | 387 | 0.17 | 9 min |
| #4 | Jimmy D Fried | 329 | 0.15 | 11 min |
| #5 | Petito | 267 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mo2 | +2.48 | 90 | 59 |
| #2 | Jbubz | +0.96 | 81 | 59 |
| #3 | jord | -0.02 | 54 | 64 |
| #4 | lenticular | -0.54 | 63 | 39 |
| #5 | Petito | -1.00 | 72 | 50 |





