










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
277 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 579 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 189 | 33% |
| Smokes | 61 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 167 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 162 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $69,152 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dank Bender | 100% | 3 |
| #2 | Doc-Twitch.tv/DecklinBiceps107 | 100% | 4 |
| #3 | Schneider | 75% | 8 |
| #4 | rA Heart | 67% | 3 |
| #5 | SPECTER | 67% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Cairn | 65% | 23 |
| #7 | Colin | 65% | 31 |
| #8 | raiiin | 59% | 17 |
| #9 | RAZR | 56% | 9 |
| #10 | Napp | 50% | 2 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dank Bender | 3 | 0.0545 |
| #2 | Colin | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | Cairn | 2 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | raiiin | 2 | 0.0061 |
| #5 | SPECTER | 2 | 0.0086 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Colin | 46 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #2 | raiiin | 45 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | SPECTER | 34 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | Cairn | 28 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Doc-Twitch.tv/DecklinBiceps107 | 25 | 0.32 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Doc-Twitch.tv/DecklinBiceps107 | +9.35 | 60 | 76 |
| #2 | RAZR | +5.54 | 89 | 56 |
| #3 | rA Heart | +3.76 | 89 | 39 |
| #4 | SPECTER | +3.70 | 75 | 68 |
| #5 | Napp | +3.17 | 49 | 67 |





