








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 185 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 69 matches | ||
| Premier | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3707 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,605 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4070 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3700 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 1339 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 2496 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $416,413 of utility $51 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 159 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RAZR | 71% | 41 |
| #2 | Schneider | 68% | 38 |
| #3 | Colin | 58% | 259 |
| #4 | raiiin | 49% | 343 |
| #5 | Cairn | 49% | 292 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Schneider | 68% | 38 |
| #3 | Colin | 58% | 259 |
| #4 | raiiin | 49% | 343 |
| #5 | Cairn | 49% | 292 |
| #6 | Napp | 48% | 216 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cairn | 52 | 0.0089 |
| #2 | Colin | 34 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | raiiin | 29 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | Napp | 25 | 0.0058 |
| #5 | Schneider | 2 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Napp | 1562 | 0.36 | 30 min |
| #2 | raiiin | 1002 | 0.15 | 27 min |
| #3 | Colin | 391 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #4 | Cairn | 258 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| #5 | Schneider | 50 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RAZR | +3.78 | 86 | 56 |
| #2 | Colin | +1.99 | 64 | 58 |
| #3 | raiiin | +1.30 | 60 | 62 |
| #4 | SPECTER | +0.52 | 70 | 66 |
| #5 | Schneider | -0.42 | 71 | 39 |





