








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 636 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 483 matches | ||
| Premier | 374 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
14160 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,304 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6226 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3999 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 9652 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 7427 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,962,103 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 708 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xburgerbabybasketball1x | 60% | 58 |
| #2 | レム | 58% | 55 |
| #3 | Colin | 54% | 266 |
| #4 | Boom | 54% | 124 |
| #5 | rA Heart | 54% | 65 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Boom | 54% | 124 |
| #5 | rA Heart | 54% | 65 |
| #6 | Cairn | 53% | 55 |
| #7 | raiiin | 50% | 106 |
| #8 | duf | 35% | 63 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Colin | 17 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Cairn | 7 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | raiiin | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | xburgerbabybasketball1x | 6 | 0.0051 |
| #5 | レム | 5 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Boom | 401 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #2 | Colin | 331 | 0.06 | 7 min |
| #3 | raiiin | 268 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #4 | レム | 204 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #5 | xburgerbabybasketball1x | 167 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RAZR | +2.26 | 87 | 59 |
| #2 | レム | +1.68 | 87 | 54 |
| #3 | rA Heart | +1.63 | 79 | 41 |
| #4 | xburgerbabybasketball1x | +0.95 | 68 | 51 |
| #5 | duf | -0.35 | 68 | 51 |





