








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
740 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,274 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 281 | 22% |
| Smokes | 377 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 326 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 290 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $215,573 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tsumo | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | Lazy | 75% | 8 |
| #3 | Cairn | 70% | 63 |
| #4 | Colin | 70% | 82 |
| #5 | SPECTER | 68% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cairn | 8 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | Colin | 7 | 0.0045 |
| #3 | raiiin | 6 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | SPECTER | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Napp | 2 | 0.0028 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Napp | 252 | 0.35 | 5 min |
| #2 | raiiin | 141 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #3 | Colin | 120 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | SPECTER | 108 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #5 | Cairn | 59 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Colin | +4.22 | 69 | 60 |
| #2 | raiiin | +2.80 | 64 | 68 |
| #3 | SPECTER | +1.56 | 71 | 68 |
| #4 | Lazy | +0.57 | 78 | 68 |
| #5 | Tsumo | +0.55 | 63 | 62 |





