








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 40 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 216 matches | ||
| Faceit | 85 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




64 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8580 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,575 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4112 | 20% |
| Smokes | 4942 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 6096 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 5425 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,581,937 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 119 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schneider | 70% | 82 |
| #2 | SPECTER | 58% | 259 |
| #3 | RAZR | 54% | 266 |
| #4 | Cairn | 52% | 435 |
| #5 | raiiin | 52% | 409 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | RAZR | 54% | 266 |
| #4 | Cairn | 52% | 435 |
| #5 | raiiin | 52% | 409 |
| #6 | Napp | 50% | 294 |
| #7 | OddHawk | 38% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cairn | 53 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | Napp | 40 | 0.0070 |
| #3 | raiiin | 38 | 0.0046 |
| #4 | SPECTER | 20 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | RAZR | 4 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Napp | 1935 | 0.34 | 37 min |
| #2 | raiiin | 1165 | 0.14 | 31 min |
| #3 | SPECTER | 844 | 0.16 | 23 min |
| #4 | Cairn | 385 | 0.04 | 8 min |
| #5 | RAZR | 316 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RAZR | +3.54 | 87 | 58 |
| #2 | Colin | +1.19 | 66 | 56 |
| #3 | raiiin | +0.86 | 61 | 63 |
| #4 | SPECTER | +0.57 | 70 | 66 |
| #5 | Schneider | +0.41 | 75 | 37 |





