








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 137 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Agency | 10 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
728 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,015 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 584 | 29% |
| Smokes | 516 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 421 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 494 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $356,565 of utility $207 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 72 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mmmbruh | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | Real Dan Cooper 1971 | 65% | 31 |
| #3 | SaltedCream™ | 63% | 8 |
| #4 | engineer.shark2006 | 56% | 27 |
| #5 | ArmoredFarmer1993 | 54% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | rubaiyacht | 53% | 49 |
| #8 | MJL1BS | 50% | 18 |
| #9 | DukeWish | 48% | 66 |
| #10 | LilKonky4405 | 43% | 7 |
| #11 | AquaticGolem | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rubaiyacht | 12 | 0.0124 |
| #2 | DukeWish | 10 | 0.0075 |
| #3 | Quinnjo | 7 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | ArmoredFarmer1993 | 3 | 0.0042 |
| #5 | engineer.shark2006 | 2 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quinnjo | 251 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #2 | DukeWish | 222 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #3 | rubaiyacht | 125 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | Real Dan Cooper 1971 | 68 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | ArmoredFarmer1993 | 58 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rubaiyacht | +3.74 | 78 | 53 |
| #2 | Quinnjo | +2.35 | 56 | 69 |
| #3 | mmmbruh | +1.99 | 74 | 65 |
| #4 | RushedOrange333 | +0.69 | 58 | 51 |
| #5 | DukeWish | +0.38 | 50 | 55 |





