








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 516 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 44 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3370 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,337 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2839 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2709 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 1636 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2153 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,124,484 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 240 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | starly | 65% | 43 |
| #2 | jizzy | 65% | 20 |
| #3 | 877-CASH-NOW | 63% | 52 |
| #4 | Saaable | 60% | 65 |
| #5 | Gabehasbongo | 59% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chobits | 29 | 0.0182 |
| #2 | Weirdy Strangey | 21 | 0.0071 |
| #3 | 877-CASH-NOW | 16 | 0.0150 |
| #4 | DukeWish | 12 | 0.0123 |
| #5 | RushedOrange333 | 12 | 0.0124 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chobits | 314 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| #2 | Weirdy Strangey | 266 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | Quinnjo | 234 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #4 | Saaable | 198 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | Dimx | 184 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | starly | +4.23 | 71 | 62 |
| #2 | rubaiyacht | +3.94 | 74 | 59 |
| #3 | Gabehasbongo | +1.79 | 68 | 55 |
| #4 | Quinnjo | +1.70 | 53 | 67 |
| #5 | cool guy | +0.67 | 61 | 45 |





