








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 61 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Agency | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
176 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 796 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 195 | 24% |
| Smokes | 176 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 223 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 202 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $188,702 of utility $190 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MJL1BS | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | RushedOrange333 | 56% | 27 |
| #3 | rubaiyacht | 56% | 27 |
| #4 | Quinnjo | 51% | 45 |
| #5 | Real Dan Cooper 1971 | 50% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | rubaiyacht | 56% | 27 |
| #4 | Quinnjo | 51% | 45 |
| #5 | Real Dan Cooper 1971 | 50% | 18 |
| #6 | ArmoredFarmer1993 | 47% | 32 |
| #7 | DukeWish | 44% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RushedOrange333 | 7 | 0.0128 |
| #2 | rubaiyacht | 6 | 0.0108 |
| #3 | DukeWish | 5 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | Quinnjo | 3 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | ArmoredFarmer1993 | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quinnjo | 157 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #2 | DukeWish | 100 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | rubaiyacht | 67 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | RushedOrange333 | 61 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | ArmoredFarmer1993 | 55 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rubaiyacht | +4.80 | 74 | 52 |
| #2 | Quinnjo | +2.89 | 56 | 65 |
| #3 | RushedOrange333 | +1.32 | 63 | 53 |
| #4 | DukeWish | +0.74 | 60 | 62 |
| #5 | Real Dan Cooper 1971 | -0.32 | 41 | 56 |





